Ok, so I kind of fell off the grid a little bit in the last few months. And it isn’t just the blogosphere I’ve abandoned. Since 16th Jan, when I woke up, decided ‘what the heck, I might as well use up this last pregnancy test’, and our world was turned upside down by the faintest of little pink lines, I’ve become something of a social recluse. Navigating morning sickness, mood swings and a myriad of emotions, here’s a little bit of what we have been up to, and the role the first trimester has played in strengthening our marriage.
A year on from vowing to love Andrew no matter what for the rest of my days, and I feel an overwhelming sense of calm. I don’t know if it’s an acceptance that the “honeymoon period” and “post-wedding blues” are behind us, or whether we’ve gone through the cycle of newly-wed firsts: “first married Valentines day”, “first married holiday after the honeymoon…”, but on the morning of our anniversary, I awoke feeling notably at ease. I look back at the unprecedented calm that washed over me on that same morning a year before. The calm of knowing completely and absolutely that my life was about to change for the better.
I’ve given a lot of time to the idea of love. Unable to fully explain how my own epic love story began with Andrew, I’m somewhat persuaded on the magical and mystical quality that surrounds the concept of love. The kind you hear about in fairytales…
For Andrew and I, we went from polite colleagues to fervent lovers seemingly at the flick of a switch. I cannot explain how it happened, nor can I remember the moment that our passing conversations became the foundations of our marriage. But somewhere between ‘did you have a good weekend’, and ‘do you want a brew’ an epic love bloomed.
Until I met Andrew I had never really believed in soul mates. Well, actually that’s not technically fair – before I met Andrew I’d never really thought about soul mates. But now I give it a fair bit of thought.
There are so many ways that Andrew and I may never have met. Ever seen the film Sliding Doors – I think about those kinds of scenarios a lot. What if I’d never taken the call from the recruitment consultant that got me that job? What if he’d never gone to live in the States and missed his family so much that it made him move back to my home town?
The what ifs are endless. But then again, I wonder if they even matter. I often find myself convinced that we would have met all along anyway. If not at work, then in some other capacity. I had after all applied for university at the same city he lived for years; I had applied for a job at the place his sister works. Maybe, just maybe, fate had a plan for us all along, and we would have found our way to each other. Somehow.
And so leads me back to soul mates…
Never had I imagined I would find someone who was so in tune with me, who thought as I think, who understands me with no explanation. Andy has from day one just ‘got me’. We slipped comfortably into each others lives so seamlessly it were as if this was always where we were meant to be. Perhaps it was…
“Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same”
Do you believe in soul mates? Have you found yours? Tell me all about it, join the conversation on Twitter @LoveinMindBlog
This is one of my favourite quotes about marriage and love. To me, this reminds me of the importance of having my own personal identity and how that identity entwines with that of my husband’s to create the very unique and individual relationship we have together.
Who else gets that Monday morning feeling? Even if we love our jobs, there’s always at least a little part of us that longs for 5 more minutes, to stay tucked up in your pyjamas, or to just have one more day.
So that’s why I’ve decided to make Monday’s my ‘Marriage Motivation days’. A little something to pick us up when that Monday morning feeling comes over us in our own relationships – because it does from time to time – a little reminder of what you’re doing, why you’re doing it and what this love and marriage thing is all about.
To kick off the series I thought the above quote from Franklin P. Jones was a goody:
“Love doesn’t make the world go round, love makes the ride worthwhile.”
As much as it may feel like it in the dreamy beginnings of any relationship, Love isn’t (at least not practically) the be-all and end-all. You still need a roof over your head – you still need to eat and enjoy other basic functions, you still need to go to work and earn a living. But that beautiful, inexplicable emotion is what makes the mundane, the routine, the Monday morning feelings, all worthwhile.
If I’ve had a bad day at work, if we’re having financial problems, even if I’ve had a minor meltdown because there are a pile of dirty socks strewn over the bathroom floor – my husband is there, and that makes all the everyday niggles and mundane routines worth it. Him, our love and the lives we’ve created together are all worth it. Every single, Monday morning!
Do you think love makes the ride worthwhile? Share your thoughts below or let me know on Twitter @LoveinmindBlog if you agree 🙂